This incident lead to a comedy tour and DVD for popular comedian, Richard Herring. All well and good, but something similar happened to me the other day in top prole-food shop, Iceland, and it’s a very odd thing to experience.

I don’t mind it when it’s the checkout folk commenting on my purchases though; I’ve been in monotonous jobs where any off-script conversation is a key to a less miserable day - even now, not working in a shop I still have the same issue. So I have no problem with a staff member talking to me about what I’m buying. Except if it’s a special cream; I don’t really want someone in a pharmacy talking to me about how their pills cleared up a rash better than the cream. Which I didn’t have.

The cream or a rash. So shut up.

So I’ve established that I have no issues talking about my normal, everyday purchases with the staff. But I did get the same comment as Mr Herring did, “Someone likes yogurt”, except that this came from a random bloke in the queue in front of me.

I don’t like strange people striking up conversations; a quick comment is fine in itself, but this gentleman did want to talk. And I mean really talk; he offered me recommendations of great yogurts he’d eaten in the past, the prices he’d been charged for them, everything bar whether he licks the lid of the pot, or spoons the yogurt off it back into the pot.

Frankly, I was a little uncomfortable. As I mentioned, he was in front of me in the queue, and this meant that I could not turn around to avoid a conversation that my monosyllabic replies seemed to clearly indicate I wanted no part of.

Technically, yes, I could have turned around and looked the other way, but then I would look peculiar to the person behind me. They’d be wondering why I had suddenly decided to stare at them and they would be right to do so. And they might follow that thought through and from there they would think I might be readying myself to talk to them about their purchases. They wouldn’t be sure if I was a bit peculiar like the man in front of me, or if discussing your purchases with the person in front of you was a new policy that Iceland staff were encouraging in some way.

I think even if I had turned around this peculiar man would have carried on, perhaps tapping me on my shoulder now and then to make sure I was paying attention to him.

Yes, it was a lot of yogurts. Twelve of them. Twelve Muller Fruit Corners. But only in the form of two six packs for four pounds, which is a great deal.

It was odd, and it was making me laugh, because I’d read the events that Mr Herring had documented. His version was funny though.

Yes, I know it’s been a while since this site has had an update and yet longer since this site has had an update which is text based rather than image based, but I assure you that there have been good reasons for the tardiness.

You see I am worried, readers. I got some spam email the other day to an address I use purely for the purpose of the efforts of spam guys to be largely wasted, disappearing into a rarely checked webmail address instead of my far more useful proper address.

But that wasn’t the worry in itself. Every single day that address gets some spam, so what was so worrying?

It’s quite simple, really. This time I feel lazy enough to try and take the piss out of it for the purposes of humour.

Oh dear.

So here we go then.

Here’s the full advert. I am sure you will agree it is stunning, one of the best internet marketing campaigns I have ever seen.

Actually, I use Adblock, so it is one of the only internet marketing campaigns I have ever seen. But that’s beside the point; this is a work of art. The Striking colours, wonderful prose, a mental middle-eight; It truly is magnificent.

“likely ground development science quietly.”

Who could disagree with an argument like that?

The eagle eyed may have noted that the advert is in fact two individual adverts, but which form part of the same campaign. We’re going to concentrate on the second of the two here, because it has colours in it, and I like things that are colourful.

I am not sure about the headline. It seems to me to be potentially offensive. What I am sure about is that offending a possible customer really isn’t sound business sense. And anyway, what if the penis is not that short in the first place? Maybe the product does not work on those who are already very well endowed. But how do they define “ShortPenis”? I assume it cannot be too arbitrary, unless it really does not work at all on men who do have big ones.

(Incidentally, I wonder if “Over 1,000,000 Customers Worldwide” refers to this product or if it is referring to the fact that there are over one million people worldwide who have been at some point customers, just not necessarily of this Cockrub.)

Is this man happy? I think it’s a cry for help. Read it again. His penis is growing uncontrollably. He needs help, or soon he will soon have to cart it around in a wheelbarrow. Within days his cock could be filling a room of his house. Imagine if a vicar came around. He’d not be able to show his face. Because his penis would be covering it. Probably.

Yet again I am unsure that it is a good advert for the product. The side effects seem to be potentially disastrous.

Mary’s husband is now two inches taller, and one inch fatter. So he has a bit of a paunch.

Oh wait; she is referring to Man XL as I assume that is what the cockrub is really called. I am not certain, as this is the only time a product name has been mentioned in this advert.

“Blue”. Is it a name, or a description of how this man feels? I think both. Look at it; he seems to be happy at first, as his orgasms seem to be making him feel really quite tremendous, but read on; his penis has grown over three centimetres. Now, that could be a fairly large amount of growth as these things go, so maybe he is happy with it. But read back to the first testimonial; that gentleman had significantly more success with the product, before his penis got to a size that caused his eventual death by suffocation.

I think Blue bought the product after reading that testimonial, and read it only as a significant, but controlled amount of growth. But what he has got from it is some growth, but not what anyone could reasonably call significant. It seems to me that Man XL is a flawed product with unpredictable results. And that’s surely not what you want to put in your big showcase advert?

We’re going to ignore the link to the product website because frankly the advert has worried me. I’m on the mailing list of someone who thinks I have ShortPenis, and that I am desperate enough to want to buy something that could help me (but result in the end of civilisation as my monster cock grows to cover the entire circumference of the planet) or hardly have any effect whatsoever.

I’m off to chuck a tenner down the toilet.

Update!

In the intervening months since I first uploaded this, I have noticed that this site has become a high-ranking result for “Man XL.” I do not mind this at all, however some of the search queries that have lead people from ManXL to The Wibble are a little worrying. “Bigger Cock Man XL” is perhaps only to be expected, but you can’t help but notice the forlorn sorrow typed by the guy who ended up at The Wibble from the phrase “Man Xl Does Not Work.”

Still, it does all go to prove that the advertising does work I suppose. Though the quality of the product remains unclear.