Well, here we are again with yet more environmentally-friendly content to make the front page change a bit more often than it has recently. Here’s something I did for what this site was going to be, and indeed briefly was, but then stopped being again back in 2003. It’s not very good.

DIE HARD 4: DIE HARDEST

SCRIPT REVISION 4AX FOR INTERNAL VIEWING ONLY

Scene 12

McClane is clad in just shorts and a white vest, now streaked with varying shades of blood. His face glistens with sweat.

McClane: How did i get into this? All I wanted was a nice holiday on this seemingly quiet tropical island with my daughter who is apparently played by Britney Spears and now I find myself dealt this shit…

He looks at the rifle, and delivers his line in a wry tone

McClane: Not my usual weapon of choice.

The camera pulls back, and there is a man of Eastern European descent staring at him, his face hardened and mean. He speaks.

Carnie: Please sir, please take your aim. You could win a goldfish in a Tesco carrier bag!

McClane: This is the worst set piece of my entire life.

Carnie: Well, at least the first three weren’t written at 2am by someone listening to a load of plebs on the radio pretending they know more about the Iraq situation than the people who invested millions in working out what to do before declaring a war.

McClane: Yes.

They both turn and face the camera, and speak together

Together: Good luck to all our boys out there!

McClane: And yippee-ki-ay to all the motherfuckers!

Rousing music plays as McClane and the Carnie hold their poses for fifteen seconds until McClane goes to his trailer for champagne and the Carnie goes to his ditch to not wash.