Just a brief observation today.

I was in town on Friday afternoon and was pleased to find HSBC have put up a freestanding cash machine in the middle of a street for some reason. Next to the Royal Bank of Scotland and near to the Lloyds. And a short walk from HSBC itself, all of which have cash machines. I assume they did it just to annoy the Royal Bank.

But that’s not the point.

While I was there, withdrawing some money, as you would expect me to be doing at a cash machine, two women walked by. One paused and looked at the machine, and then looked at her friend and exclaimed - “Free cash withdrawals!”

Her friend nodded; “But you need a bank account to use it.”

They both looked tremendously confused by the concept, which removed all doubt that they may have been joking with each other. I think they were under the impression a bank had erected a machine to give free money to middle-aged women, or something.

The banks are all trying to put paid to those scamming cash machines that charge you a couple of quid to withdraw money in the name of reducing confusion. I think they may be onto a loser here. They’ll all be trying to claim back the money these machines unfairly withdrew from their bank accounts without warning when they put their bank cards into a free withdrawals machine.

Yes, I know it’s been a while since this site has had an update and yet longer since this site has had an update which is text based rather than image based, but I assure you that there have been good reasons for the tardiness.

You see I am worried, readers. I got some spam email the other day to an address I use purely for the purpose of the efforts of spam guys to be largely wasted, disappearing into a rarely checked webmail address instead of my far more useful proper address.

But that wasn’t the worry in itself. Every single day that address gets some spam, so what was so worrying?

It’s quite simple, really. This time I feel lazy enough to try and take the piss out of it for the purposes of humour.

Oh dear.

So here we go then.

Here’s the full advert. I am sure you will agree it is stunning, one of the best internet marketing campaigns I have ever seen.

Actually, I use Adblock, so it is one of the only internet marketing campaigns I have ever seen. But that’s beside the point; this is a work of art. The Striking colours, wonderful prose, a mental middle-eight; It truly is magnificent.

“likely ground development science quietly.”

Who could disagree with an argument like that?

The eagle eyed may have noted that the advert is in fact two individual adverts, but which form part of the same campaign. We’re going to concentrate on the second of the two here, because it has colours in it, and I like things that are colourful.

I am not sure about the headline. It seems to me to be potentially offensive. What I am sure about is that offending a possible customer really isn’t sound business sense. And anyway, what if the penis is not that short in the first place? Maybe the product does not work on those who are already very well endowed. But how do they define “ShortPenis”? I assume it cannot be too arbitrary, unless it really does not work at all on men who do have big ones.

(Incidentally, I wonder if “Over 1,000,000 Customers Worldwide” refers to this product or if it is referring to the fact that there are over one million people worldwide who have been at some point customers, just not necessarily of this Cockrub.)

Is this man happy? I think it’s a cry for help. Read it again. His penis is growing uncontrollably. He needs help, or soon he will soon have to cart it around in a wheelbarrow. Within days his cock could be filling a room of his house. Imagine if a vicar came around. He’d not be able to show his face. Because his penis would be covering it. Probably.

Yet again I am unsure that it is a good advert for the product. The side effects seem to be potentially disastrous.

Mary’s husband is now two inches taller, and one inch fatter. So he has a bit of a paunch.

Oh wait; she is referring to Man XL as I assume that is what the cockrub is really called. I am not certain, as this is the only time a product name has been mentioned in this advert.

“Blue”. Is it a name, or a description of how this man feels? I think both. Look at it; he seems to be happy at first, as his orgasms seem to be making him feel really quite tremendous, but read on; his penis has grown over three centimetres. Now, that could be a fairly large amount of growth as these things go, so maybe he is happy with it. But read back to the first testimonial; that gentleman had significantly more success with the product, before his penis got to a size that caused his eventual death by suffocation.

I think Blue bought the product after reading that testimonial, and read it only as a significant, but controlled amount of growth. But what he has got from it is some growth, but not what anyone could reasonably call significant. It seems to me that Man XL is a flawed product with unpredictable results. And that’s surely not what you want to put in your big showcase advert?

We’re going to ignore the link to the product website because frankly the advert has worried me. I’m on the mailing list of someone who thinks I have ShortPenis, and that I am desperate enough to want to buy something that could help me (but result in the end of civilisation as my monster cock grows to cover the entire circumference of the planet) or hardly have any effect whatsoever.

I’m off to chuck a tenner down the toilet.

Update!

In the intervening months since I first uploaded this, I have noticed that this site has become a high-ranking result for “Man XL.” I do not mind this at all, however some of the search queries that have lead people from ManXL to The Wibble are a little worrying. “Bigger Cock Man XL” is perhaps only to be expected, but you can’t help but notice the forlorn sorrow typed by the guy who ended up at The Wibble from the phrase “Man Xl Does Not Work.”

Still, it does all go to prove that the advertising does work I suppose. Though the quality of the product remains unclear.

You can do anything with a shortcode.

(Due to the new site layout, this one is a bit too big to display fully. Click on it for the fully sized wonderment.)